After two months

phew, its been two months since I last blogged ... well, at least for good reasons ... I was more happy and melancholy had been replaced by ... a sense of hope. Much has happened over the last two months and work was so harsh that I hardly had time to write and vent ... Sunshine and me are an item and that changed my life ... significantly. I thank God for her.

surprise surprise

i got sort of a promotion today, well, I was shock to hear the news, so it was a pleasant surprise. never expect to get it so soon tho, so like Sunshine said, I must be really blessed ... and I am real glad that she is planning a celebration. still waiting for the shock to wear out ... 

crossroads

over a sandwich and latte, a friend and colleague revealed that he would be leaving the job for greener pastures ... it was a mixed feeling to hear about his impending departure as we met each other again in the firm after a number of years, and he did back stabbed me at one point ... but I would say that I am sad overall. once upon a time, we were hanging out together playing football and wrecking the landscaping in college, and did all the idiotic things together, and I would want to remember him for that, and not the back-stabbing. well, youthful pride and ambitions do hurt friendships, but we all need time to grow up. for every oxygen breathing soul, there are times that we come to certain crossroads, where we were made to decide on a path, and like all crossroads, we'll only know if we will regret after the crossroads. most of the time, we change course because we are unhappy, but who would really leave a job or a relationship or some place when we are most happy with it ... but being a pessimist-non-conformist, I would say that the best time to leave is when u are happiest, so all that's left are good memories. well, i've digressed, in any case, my friend leave because he chose to try something new rather than to rest on the laurels of success and security ... I agree with him, don't waste your youth, this is the time to try and fail and try again ... all the best my friend, you'll be missed. 

holding hands ...

its was an hour's ride home in my red wagon, in light drizzles, we just held hands and enjoy each other's company as we took a slow drive home. no 'special music' tonight, just soundtracks from "One Fine Day" sunshine tried a folk-lorish method of curing headaches, which will did work to a certain extent. But I guess it was the quiet company that took a bit of my monday headaches away. well, sometimes its the little moments and the simple things that makes the difference ... 

mondaze

as usual, tis monday and my monday headache is back, hoped it would remain a monday headache. somehow, there's always a pile-up at the in-tray, somehow there'll always be bad traffic jams, somehow, some colleagues are especially talented in being a a**-h*** on mondays. or perhaps tis just a state of mind ... hmmmm ... #yawn# oh well, it was especially bad to-monday due to the lack of sleep over the weekend #thanks buddy!#, and the fact that I had ... about 30 dreams last night, some of which were really bazaar, like having dinner with sunshine and her mother in some bazaar restaurant-cum-food factory and being grilled #me, not the food# ... being a cab-driver and getting into a bad accident 3 sec after starting work. what is wrong with me ... i need to sleep. 

one for the road ... Mikey

"Beat It" - Written and composed by Michael Jackson.

They told him don't you ever come around here

Don't wanna see your face, you better disappear

The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear

So beat it, just beat it

You better run, you better do what you can

Don't wanna see no blood, don't be a macho man

You wanna be tough, better do what you can

So beat it, but you wanna be bad

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it

No one wants to be defeated

Showin' how funky and strong is your fight

It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

Just beat it, beat it

Just beat it, beat it

Just beat it, beat it

Just beat it, beat it

They're out to get you, better leave while you can

Don't wanna be a boy, you wanna be a man

You wanna stay alive, better do what you can

So beat it, just beat it

You have to show them that you're really not scared

You're playin' with our life, this ain't no truth or dare

They'll kick you, then they beat you,

Then they'll tell you it's fair

So beat it, but you wanna be bad

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it

No one wants to be defeated

Showin' how funky and strong is your fight

It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it

No one wants to be defeated

Showin' how funky and strong is your fight

It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it

No one wants to be defeated

Showin' how funky and strong is your fight

It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

Just beat it, beat it

Beat it, beat it, beat it

Beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it

No one wants to be defeated

Showin' how funky and strong is your fight

It doesn't matter who's wrong or who's right

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it

No one wants to be defeated

Showin' how funky and strong is your fight

It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it

No one wants to be defeated

Showin' how funky and strong is your fight

It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

Just beat it, beat it

Beat it, beat it, beat it

Beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it

No one wants to be defeated

Showin' how funky and strong is your fight

It doesn't matter who's wrong or who's right

Beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it

No one wants to be defeated

Showin' how funky and strong is your fight

It doesn't matter who's wrong or who's right

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it

No one wants to be defeated

Showin' how funky and strong is your fight

It doesn't matter who's wrong or rightJust beat it, beat it

Beat it, beat it, beat it

death of a tragedy ...

michael jackson died on 26 Jun 09. Billy Jean, Thriller, Beat It, Ebony and Ivory, This Girl is Mine ... michael's songs were definitive in my rocker-ing indulgences since I was 10? or was it 9. Billy Jean was a favorite hit amongst my soccer buddies, i could still remember Michael's mv for Ebony with Paul McCartney. however, on 26 Jun 09, Michael Jackson passed on ... as a tragedy. Enough is said of what happened, but as a former fan, I would have preferred that he died with more glory, as a symbol of his era, like Kurt Cobain, who died in his prime. But it was not to be. in recent memory, all we could remember about Michael Jackson was his broken nose, his multi-multi million dollar debt, his child abuse allegations and not for the revolution he brought to rock music in the 1980's ... his moon-walk ... and yes, Jackson Five. in any case, let us remember what Michael Jackson did for rock music, the glorious era and his struggles. Oh well, like many of us, he had his dreams, he had his disillusions, heartbreaks and as the story goes, to become somebody he was not. But he tried to pursue his dreams, and he fell, just like many of us ... like many of us, he f**ked it up. Let us remember Michael Jackson for the memories he left us ... in his music.

being alone ...

did not text Sunshine much since Thursday, but was glad she called, and there were usual goodnight muacks, and a few friendly exchanges since then. well, I fear meeting her since thursday as I was not sure how to express myself. I guess I need some time to figure out who I am to her. was her 'outburst' on thursday due to just frustration, or cos she did not regard me as someone special, nothing compared to her friends and close office-mates or not sure, why. Perhaps I was afraid of such rejections, and was afraid to go through these kind of courtship all over again. Perhaps I was just doing baseless comparisons. In any case, I've lost confidence. I just feel like a low-life germ after that dinner. I just wanted some time to figure things out and reconcile with reality. I do miss her but this was mingled with a little fear of her ... so for the time being, I'll just be alone.

a friend in need

so bushed after helping a good friend, a close buddy with a piece of work. Was quite pissed initially as he was away on a diving holiday and did not do much ... and it was HIS work. Spent a good part of the day doing it for him and the evening piecing it together. But at the end of the day, I was glad I kept my anger to myself and helped him the best I could. Think it's a Ace job. well, we have been buddies for more than 13 years, and we had been through all the shit together. I reckoned that he was indeed handicapped in some aspects and really counted on me to help him. so I was glad I did my part for him ... he's after all, my buddy.

dinner with a germ

after dinner with Sunshine today, I just felt like some low life germ. sigh. its f**king friday again.