my dream

i want to own a cafe by the beach ... in a quiet corner of the world ... i want to look at the stars every night ... with a cigarette in hand ... listen to the waves and soft jazz music playing in my cafe ... where i'll play my favorite songs with my guitar ... and go to bed every night ... indifferent to how each day was like ... to be alone, and at times, enjoy the company of strangers who would pop by my beach cafe for a bowl of nice hot soup, or a ice cold beer ... listen to the stories of back-packers from other corners of the world ... they can have a free meal if they leave their stories behind ... to live each day without happiness or disappointment, not concerned whether I love or being loved, just me, my cafe, my cigarettes, my guitar, the beach and the stars .... 

好累

by the way ...

such a long day, and a long day ahead, shadow looked forward to meeting sunshine but sunshine has decided not to meet. its nice to be the repertoire and not an interlude, it nice to be the way and not by the way, its nice to be the focus and not the forgone. why? once again shadow ask. well, what is shadow to be expecting anything anyway. life would be happier without an inflated sense of self-importance. you're not button nose ... its time to go to sleep. goodnight, day #20 - melancholixia.

a sad song

happiness has no meaning if there's no sadness, 

joy has no meaning if there are no sorrows,

life has no meaning if there's no death, 

laughter has no meaning if there are no tears,

warm has no meaning if there's no winter,

so love as no meaning if there's no sadness, sorrows, tears and winter,

so how about death you may ask,

so love is dead when there's only sadness, sorrows, tears and winter. 

headache

damn, my monday headache is no monday headache. Its Wed and it still hurts. its so bad I din watch 24 for two nights, never ready anything and did even text Sunshine much. 

mondays are bad for health ....

i cant feel the right side of my head!!! damn monday headaches!!! monday brain freeze !!! over-stretched jaws!!! damn, mondays are bad for health !!!  

the importance of f**king up ....

I must admit my F1 fever is going to be short-lived now that the big boys are leaving the championship next year, and Mclaren's showing this season was wrecked by a #$@% car. One of the joys of last season was about watching Lewis Hamilton climb his way to world championship, so the dismal performance of the team was quite depressing, especially when Lewis ended up in 16th place in home ground yesterday. Well, I supposed losing and being at the bottom (especially after being crowned champion) is part and parcel of life ... I remembered managing a sports team years back ... bottom of the table ... and for two years, it was nothing but training and training three times a week, having friendlies with big boys to get thrashed, time to lick their wounds after that and training harder ... and two years later, they became champions. Failures ... It helps you get a clearer resolution on what you want, the humiliation would be the driving force of the future, the sorrows would build character, the defeats would build strength, all that you would need to make a better champion. Besides, Lewis is young, he has time ... way to go !!!

Sunshine's Home

the weekend ended with a high note with Sunshine coming home ... 

15 Days

day #15 of sad songs ... well, sad songs is 15 days old and I still could not find a reason to rename it or close it down. 

Oh well, on reflection, this weeks not so bad after all, Sunshine created a playlist for me ... 8 hours worth of her favorite songs from her Ipod and they were really nice songs ... happy or sad. the little journey where we just held hands while I drove ... Thanks dear, it was really nice #Miss you#

Thank Jack Tis Friday!!

Nothing exorcises your rage from your mind like a run and a good work out ... oh well (I'm beginning to sound like Sunshine, who is a couple of thousands miles away, and I miss her), I could still enjoy the remnants of this damned week after all ... can't wait to play disc 2 of 24 (Season 7). been checking out the DVDs for season 7 at the video joint for a year, and found it at a HMV joint at Elements, Kowloon. I paid HKD399 for it without blinking. There's something therapeutic about watching 24 ... let me see, I watched season one to six over one month ... in 2007 and was addicted ... there's always some enemies for anyone to relate to ... high level corrupted and principle-least politicians, heroes, terrorists trying their luck from anything from germs to dirt bombs, characters who looked like traitors but were heroes and of course, our dear-tortured soul- Jack-Bauer. I must admit I'm no fan of Keifer Sutherland, but I think he did a pretty good job playing Jack Bauer, especially that oft "look" of helplessness and resignation, but well, still save the day ... and got betrayed within the hour. Poor Jack. And of course, nobody talks about 24 without paying tributes to the torture scenes. Well, serve them right ... come on, these @#$#3 were trying to blow the living daylight out of innocent folks who did nothing except to vote in a scum as the president ... wait a minute ... hmmm ... well, tis a collective "accident". Anyway, thank Jack its Friday!!!